Blog 5 Making New Christmas Traditions
Change is inevitable but it seems far more noticeable over the Christmas season, doesn't it? So today I want to take a look at a different way to do Christmas when your loved one has died, or left, and that includes pets. There might have been a particular dish they enjoyed or made, that game they insisted on playing, they may have wanted to take a walk at a particular time to a favourite spot, doing things in a certain familiar way, that may have been comforting, normal or even annoying all at the same time. Since they have gone you might be thinking all sorts of different things, who will make ……, how will we manage without……., what happens at ………... time now, because that was how it always was, change means you are learning to live without your loved one, and that might be really hard around particular anniversaries and the first Christmas without them might be really testing and difficult time, you might feel the loss all over again as reminders occur, you might feel nothing at all bringing up feelings that might not have occurred to you, this is part of the grieving process, and whilst it might be challenging even unbearable maybe, it is normal, and is part of your own grieving process.
When I was thinking about how to approach this topic and new way of doing Christmas, I came across the idea of making new traditions as a way to manage these changes and navigate how to do things differently.
Christmas and grief might seem impossible, whether your loss or bereavement was recent or not, there is a change to navigate around, having a plan and being prepared might help some people. Perhaps have a think about how Christmas would have been in the past, and how it can be in the future, what if anything you want to change.
You may wish to honour the person who has passed or left. At Samhain/Halloween/All Hallows I like to set an extra place at the supper table to honour the loved ones who cannot be there, maybe this could fit into your day. What about that dish they liked so much they made enough for an army? Is there someone who you would be happy to take over that role or indeed make something new and different instead? When you go for the afternoon or morning stroll have a think about the route will it be the same, will it go past a memorable place you shared together? Perhaps past the garden of remembrance or cemetery? Or be a brand new experience?
You might be able to talk and think about a new ritual or tradition with friends or family, that encompasses how you are feeling and is unique to yourself.
Above all I guess the message from me to you is just be very kind to yourself xx
