Blog 3 22.11.24
Christmas Blogs
I know I know I said it, but here in the UK it is just around the corner, it arrives every year and raises so much stress for me in our house, and I suspect a good many others too, for various different reasons, bereavement, illness, anxiety to name just a few. So, over the next few weeks I am going to attempt to tackle and talk about a few topics and tell you about some things that I have come across or adopted that might give you some ideas help to lighten your load a little at this time of year. It may surprise some people to hear that Christmas is not everyone's cup of tea (or coffee) and honestly that is ok.
I'm going to broach the subjects of saying no and putting boundaries in place, looking at making new Christmas traditions, arguments and being alone at Christmas.
So, let's jump right in with the first topic:
A Quick Guide to Saying No at Christmas
I've noticed the ads have been going for a good few weeks now, the long-awaited next episode in the TV ads has dropped into my inbox recently, it starts earlier and earlier there have been mince pies in my local grocery store before Halloween for goodness' sake. Christmas is a time when the tv ads rank up their onslaught of enticements and offers, often attached to hidden messages, when I say hidden messages, I mean they have agendas to sell more of the latest craze and line their own pockets, the inference being if you don't go along and spend your hard-earned cash and buy the latest whatever it is then family and friends will think- here is the guilt trip, you/I am a bad person, or I don't care if I don't give my family the most expensive whatever it is, this is how they sell more, working our own feelings into guilt tripping us. Here begins the craziness of expectations. The expectation you will host, the expectation you will visit, the expectation of gifts, the expectation of expense, and even the expectation you will enjoy this season.
This time of year, can be especially anxiety provoking for those who do the preparation, for those who buy, cook, peel, blanch, bake, clean and think about Christmas, its stressful and not to mention the cost involved, I knew a person who would go to the January sales in order to get the bargains for the following Christmas, crazy idea? Not to them, a necessity. And what about the people that begin gift shopping in June to spread the cost, have you ever tried buying hat scarf and glove sets in the height of summer, even more stress, yes this is me!
This time of year, can be especially difficult for those with conditions such as ADHD, autism, ME with all the lights, tinsel, sounds, smells it can be a sensory overload and can be exhausting with the over stimulation.
It can be really trying and hard, so maybe in order to preserve your sanity you could start to say no to the latest must have, to the visits, to the expense. I do get it though; this can be difficult especially if you have a tendency to people-please.
Can you look at how you actually feel about what is happening, you can decide if you want to put your own needs first, you can consider asking for help, and ask ourselves what feels right for us right now irrespective of what is going on around us, and maybe there is an alternative way of doing Christmas that doesn't lead to burn out and exhaustion. What could you do to lessen the load for yourself or for somebody else?
I wonder what it might be like for you to begin to normalise your feelings of overwhelm at this time of year, because it can just be too much, and begin to think about putting boundaries in place and saying no thank you.
